Having a Baby

So any day now Matt and I are expecting baby Boy Heaton to arrive. Due March 13, 2013...or 3/13/13 (that is alot of 3's) We are getting more excited and ready to meet him now.  It has been an interesting journey to get to this point.  It happened very quick for us which was a bit of a shock and slightly hard couple months of trying to get our heads around the thought.  I am not the kind of person to get all gaga anyway, but I think one of the hardest parts have been that I am the only one in my circle of friends (in England) to be having a baby.  I have 3 friends due around my due date in the States and one in Norway due the same week but no one here in the UK.  It has been a difficult journey of wrapping my head around that and know how much to talk baby and pregnancy with people and how much to just ignore the fact as to not annoy people. Also the fears that come along with pregnancy. It turns out everyone else wants to talk about baby whether you want to or not.  haha

I think it safe to say we both feel ready to meet our baby now,  I had a hard time thinking about the delivery a couple weeks ago, but have been having people pray with us about it and us ourselves praying about it together and separate ..I feel much better and am trying to give all my fears to God.  Standing on His word and promises of protection.  We are believing for a fast delivery, fear-free and even praying for pain free.  I know this might sound absurd but I know fear brings on pain and I really want to give all my fear of the pain to God.  I was high risk in my first 2 trimesters of pregnancy, because of my Thyroid disease and a low riding placenta, but with prayer, God has taken all those risks away.  I am now free to go to the MLU which I prayed for, it is a calm peaceful environment with only Midwife's in charge to keep an intimate atmosphere, similar to a home birth.  I would like a water birth and each room is equipped with a pool.  I know I should not get my hopes so high that if these things don't work out because of complications that I would be disappointed, but at the same time I want to stand of the promises that God has released me from hospital for a reason.  I will be fine with whatever happens  as I thought I would have to have a hospital birth from the beginning any ways, but I am going to believe for a natural birth at the MLU. :)  I am kinda excited.

Philippians 4:4-9

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.


Well hopefully my next post will be about our baby arriving and pictures to go with it. :)

Is God Good?

This question has came up in conversation and in a book I was reading today The Holy Wild.  Last night it came up in our youth bible study and today It has really made me think and even frustrated.  

Do I believe He is good?  

Sometimes I feel it. 

Sometimes I know it.  

Sometimes I have no idea!  

I know He loves the World. But the question always asked is... 

"Why do bad things always happen in this world to good people if He is a good God"?  

We can't prove it to someone who has never know God is good, 

half the time we can't even prove it to ourselves.  Is He Good?  

The Bible shows He is good, but it also shows so much bad and people hurting.  What about Job his whole life was shaken and destroyed, and Mary, Jesus Mother, watching Him die on a cross.  That wouldn't have felt good, was she thinking about how good God was?  

Even "Jesus called out My God, My God, Why have you Forsaken Me". 

 I believe God is good, everything in me believes it.  But then I lack faith, trust, and contentment in Him.  

So am I living like He is good?  

I have seen death, I have seen the pain, hurt, and anger it leaves people feeling. But I have also seen people in those situations praise God.  Praise Him through their despair and hurt.  The book told a story of a mother who lost he son and praised God through it.  I have also seen with my own eye's two families that have praised in their hurt.  One when I was about 19 years old and lost a friend, someone I went to high school with.  His parents worshipped God even though their son died in a car accident, one of the most unlikely people you would have ever guessed.  He had life in him. He seemed to be going through a hard time in life though testing if he thought God was good or not.  I had conversations with him about this and regret these were the last things we talked about. I figured he had time to have these experiences and then get back to living for God, but he lost his life instead.  Also 2 years ago we had a tragedy in our community and church family.  My husband had grown up with him from birth, their families did everything together, the holidayed together, got into mischief together, but around high school drifted apart because of different interests and schools.  As young men they became friends again and we were all in a cell group together sharing life.  He was starting to come out of his shell and talking about God and where he was at with the group, he was going to be in our wedding.  He was supposed to sing a song in front of our congregation on the Sunday but on the Saturday night he ended his own life.  His girlfriend had been calling me saying she couldn't reach him,  and that she was very worried.  After not hearing from him for ages a friend went with his brother-in-law to the house and found him.  I remember the phone call and look on my friends face when she received it, our worst fear was the truth. Me and a couple other girls then had to go and tell the girlfriend what had happened.  It was a long and hard night a night that didn't seem to end.  The man who died's brother-in-law and sister came to the house to help console the girlfriend.  They were praising God and praying to Him for help, for her, them, and the parents who where away at the time.  It was some of the hardest couple months I think I have experienced with a group of people it effected our whole community.  I didn't know him that well but it changed everything.  Some people were angry, some people were hurt, and some people praised God.  Our church hung on to the hope God is good and would look after the hurting family.  I have never seen such strength in the parents, sister and her family as I did that year.  I guess through that experience I almost have to say God is good.  If I can't say that then what do his family have to hold onto?  

They have recently been going through other trials with selling their house and

 they are still telling us all "God is Good" and "He has a plan".  I have to believe it.


Jeremiah 29:11 (TNIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Marriage, Life, and Cooking.

I love the Idea of blogging. But I never find it easy to sit down and write about my day or life. I have to be inspired. I love looking through the blogs of friends or of people who are inspiring in their way of life or their way of eating.

Since July I have found myself trying to figure out what it is that Abigail Marie Heaton looks like...how do I want to run a home, or cook, and how do I want to live. I have found the last few months very difficult and fun in trying to figure these things out, now that I am no longer single and have another person in my life. After 26 years of watching my parents, friends, mentors, and others in my life what is it I want to take from them and mix with my own ideas and Matt's ideas. It hasn't been easy because I have had to distance myself a bit from others to do this.

At this point in my life I am very confused about what I want life to look like, We really want God to be the centre of our lives, we are reading a book at the moment Crazy Love. It is very challenging but relevant at this time for us both. We are wanting to decide what to do while we are newly weds and childless. If I had the choice I would choose some random spot in Africa and go although that is a scary thought (I would miss my kitchen and cooking things the most) but at the same time I love adventure and now with Matt by my side I feel we could go anywhere. With life I feel free, to free really, I do not have a steady job but if we don't go now I need to find something here to occupy my time. I would like to work at Starbucks or with elderly people. I want to visit them in their homes or just befriend them. I have lived in a Christian bubble the past 3 1/2 years and feel the need to break free, but I want to go and do what God has in mind and not what I have in mind. The last couple months we have been thinking, discussing and praying what is next for us, I don't feel we have came to any conclusions but I do feel I have ruled some things out.

Please be praying for us and thanks to those of you who are already doing so.

That is all for now, I must get dinner served for my patient husband...lentil soup and monster cookies...yummy :)

Lord, please guide me and Matt and help me to put my life, goals, and visions FULLY in Your hands. Amen.